Undeserved Privilege

        You know in movies how there is that infamous moment when an actor or actress states that things can't get any worse than they already are... and then it starts to rain. Well to put it simply, it has been raining a lot in my life lately. Normally I embrace the rain. I run out and dance for joy in it because I know that God is using it to refine me and bring glory to himself. However, if I was being completely honest with you all, these past few weeks when I look up and see the rain coming I simply sit down and cry. I cry because I feel like I can't get things right. I cry because I'm confused and can't see 10 feet in front of me. I cry because I'm putting my faith in what I can see and it doesn't look that promising. That Organic Chemistry test doesn't look promising for a future in PA school. That amount of money I've raised doesn't look promising for my hopes of going to Uganda.  I feel so adamantly that these are things the Lord has called me to do but the message I keep hearing instead is "you can't."
         And the thing that is so crazy about that message is it is right. I can't do anything. I've been listening to it with my heart on the present. With my heart on the things that I can see, and feel, and touch. I have allowed this message to be a message from the enemy. I have allowed every obstacle and trial and problem that presents itself to be a tool in the enemy's hands. He sees the problem and he says "you can't."
         This is a similar kind of answer I receive from the Lord, but His has so much more to offer. He says "you can't, but I can." For every obstacle, trial and problem He says "you can do nothing but I can do everything." He clearly states in scripture that nothing is to great for Him to overcome. He overcame every obstacle there was to man while He was man. He experienced every heartache, temptation, and trial and He said "I can." He did it for me. He is doing it for me. He is standing on the outside of the bounds of time and saying "Ashley, I know it doesn't look promising now but I have a plan. Trust me. Trust me that I have called you to PA school and will provide a way. Trust me that I have called you to Uganda and will provide a way. I have called you to trust and I will give you the grace to do that because you can't even do that on your own." And He says all of this not with the condescending voice of the great being that He is, but with the love of a Father.
      "Therefore since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory.
       We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill out hearts with his love."
Romans 5:1-5
        You see, sitting there in the rain with a sense of defeat is not standing in the place of undeserved privilege, it isn't allowing hope to not lead to disappointment. It is simply giving in to the enemy's cry for destruction. The Lord is teaching me yet again that when the rain comes and its one more thing I can't do on my own, he will make up the difference. So friends and family what I am asking of you all this week isn't for money, I simply ask that you would pray for me to believe and trust God that I am standing in a place of undeserved privilege and that these problems and trials will lead to endurance, and endurance to strength of character, and strength of character to strength of hope, and a hope that will not lead to disappointment because I know my God loves me.
       No matter where I am this summer or even in 10 years, my God loves me. He loves me so much that he sent his Holy Spirit to remind me every day. Today I choose to listen to the voice that says "you can't, but I can." I get to stand in underserved privilege and bring God glory no matter where I am. How amazing is that!